it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
