What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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