I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
