No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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