there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
