so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
