U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.