I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.