That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
