Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
