my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
