youre lurking in front of me
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
