What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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