that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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