my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Found the puke drawer
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
