Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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