But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
