You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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