Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
