dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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