ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
