The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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