I cockslap morals
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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