Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
