Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Randomize