Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
