I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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