yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
