Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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