I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
