I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Randomize
