Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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