I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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