I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
