I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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