Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize