is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
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Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
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Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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