the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
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