oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
