watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
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