Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
