so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
dude. I can hear the air.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
