Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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