I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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