Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
