You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
