Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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