Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
