Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
