I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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