at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
