Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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