She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
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dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
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Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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