Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
