She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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