I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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