you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Randomize
