So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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