I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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