I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
