I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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