So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
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Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
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Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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